October is one of the toughest months through this whole year. I can't deny that I cry a lot during this month, fall much time, heartbreak for thousand times, the messy of study, the unstable health and what not.
However, throughout this test, I learn a lot. There is so much thing that I can't forget.
In our life, you can't assume that the sun and rainbow will stick there all the time. Sometimes, we need a storm and rain that will teach us how to search the light after the darkness.
I did feel give up in my life especially in term of my health. Sometimes I wonder, how long more do I have? Will I feel the happiness? Will I feel being loved by the people? I keep asking the questions but I did not find the answer.
You know what, I make mistake. I keep asking but I did not act. I want to be happy but I did not work for it. I want to be as perfect as I can and make people satisfied with me but I did not make any effort to make it become reality. Thanks to Jazlie because finally, I found the answer.
"I NEED TO ACT FOR MY DREAM, NOT ONLY KEEP ASKING"
October changed me a lot.
I faced the test with the relationship between me and my debate team. I did reach the point where I feel I m so give up with it because I feel I can't do anything. Here I kept blaming myself. But the question is if I kept blaming myself, will the problem solve? Will we back to normal again? Will we? I still remember how bad I cry for almost a week. Regretting and wishing to turn back time. Sadly, it will not happen. Instead of thinking the past, I should work for the future to fix it isn't? So I believe that the sun still there and I try my best to fix everything that I can. Alhamdulillah, things get better and I believe that time will heal everything. For all the support that I get, thank you.
Heartbreak? Haha, should I call it heartbreak? Perhaps yay and perhaps nay. I always think that I m still small enough for this but mommy said no I m not. I will turn 20 next year and I believe that this is the learning process in my life. The situation that will make me become stronger and more mature in a relationship. Maybe, become more professional too. Though this is not the first time I feel much better.
Unstable health. This really drives me crazy. I can't even cry when I know my health report drop drastically and unstable like a roller coaster. I don't count how many times I sit in the critical ward or how much pail of blood that I lose. Thanks to Allah cause He still gives me a chance till now. Alhamdulillah, maybe because things get better so my health gets better too.
Semester 5 is one of the hardest semester. The subject is really tough but I m enjoying my self. It just me who did not know how to manage my time well. My favorite subject this semester is communication law. To me it is fun. hoping that I can pass this semester with flying colours.
So what I can conclude is, don't be sad for a long time. No matter how hard your life is, keep going. Don't ever let your tiara fall. I know that it is so hard but believe me, Allah will not put you in a situation where you can't face. If you have a problem, don't run. Settled it down because there must a solution in every problem that you got. In any relationship, communication is the key. You need to always remember that every test that you faced will help you grow well and make you stronger in the future.
So I leave here one of the quotes that inspire me a lot,
Love,
Min Min
